Take it or leave it

“What’s it worth to ya?” the bully smirked, arrogant in his dominance, holding my ball in the air just beyond my reach.

“Give it to me!” I demanded with all the whine I could muster without letting my suppressed tears surface… just yet. The other boys in the bully’s gang laughed. I knew they were only rallying around him because they feared that he might also bully them the way he bullied other kids.

After a few more requests and denials, I began to ask myself the very question he was asking. “Wait…what IS it worth to me?” I was clearly losing all respect and self-confidence the longer I let this kid control my destiny and ball. The longer this lasted, the more power I gave him over me. And not to mention Beth was watching!  (And all of us 10 year old boys had the hots for Beth…)

I don’t remember the specific outcome of that day, but it wasn’t the first, and it certainly wasn’t the last day someone used their position and arrogance to make me  (or many others) feel powerless and insignificant.

Fast forward several years. The situation has changed, the issues are different, but the underlying question is identical. Behind questions like––

Who’s going to be the next President of the US?

Can I make more at that other job?

Who will come out on top?

—is one that underlies them all. “What’s it worth to ya?”

Is the purpose of your resolve to fundamentally WIN, or is it to truly find the best possible outcome for all parties involved? Are you so resolute that you have become blind to any options? And what if things go the “other way”? Are you set to accept the new situation, or are you going to be filled with rage, blame and hopelessness like the majority of others who think like you and share your perspective? “If the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?”

As a whole, mankind has survived many, many disappointing outcomes and frustrating situations. But the question still remains. “What’s it worth to ya?” Are you losing sleep, friends and patience because some situation has control of you? Why are you allowing these things to mentally and even physically affect you? Often, these things are way beyond your individual control. It is perfectly okay to be concerned and stay informed, but don’t allow yourself to be drawn into useless panic over what might happen or even what did happen.

The widely known and respected “12 step program,” developed in the 1930’s, states,

“God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”

Maybe we need to adopt that same ideology as we face these circumstances; take a deep breath as we ask ourselves, “What’s it worth to ya?” What are you willing to lose, to spend, or to suffer as you witness the potential demise of your opinion?

Matthew 5:13

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?
It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”