Sometimes we go through very hard times that make NO SENSE and cause you to question almost everything about the experience; its purpose and its cause. What will make this stop? Maybe you’ve known that this day might eventually come, but quietly hoped that maybe it was lost in time and might skip you. Maybe you did everything humanly possible to avoid it ever happening to you, and yet….here you are.
Either way, this might be completely new to you. It’s quite possible that you feel like a deer in headlights, trying to figure out your next step. Maybe unsure which direction to turn before you can even take your first step.
I got full-blown COVID on February 6th of 2021. Although I heard of people either experiencing only mild effects and others in hospitals fighting for their lives, I was somewhere in the middle. Miserable to be sure, but not on a respirator or in a hospital bed. After about 2 weeks of misery, I began to improve, I still had symptoms that were related to the virus…but I was better. Or so I thought.
While I had indeed gotten over the initial virus, I had developed what they are now calling “Long Covid Syndrome” which means I have many symptoms of the virus, but more like indications of the damage that Covid had caused. Most notably, these consist of cognitive issues that are no longer cute: like walking in a room and forgetting why I was there.
No, things are much more serious. It has now been over four months, and I still have many of these symptoms. The point I am trying to convey is not about my situation with the virus, but rather the new life I now face.
Sure, it is very tough to look back a mere 4 months when everything was “normal” and realize that much of my life is now happening at a different pace and from a new perspective, nonetheless, I was fighting this thing with all my might. I wanted to go back to the person and life I had before. I am now convinced that perhaps the best way to move forward is to realize things simply may never be like they were before.
When we struggle to get things back like they were, we are not only wasting time, but engaging in a battle with an unknown outcome. All this leads to is loads of unnecessary stress. To quote Ellis (Barry Corbin) from the Movie No Country For Old Men, “…all the time ya spend trying to get back what’s been took from ya, more is going out the door. After a while you just have to try to get a tourniquet on it.” Once we figure out that sometimes things simply change, we can embrace our need to adapt rather than analogize to how things used to be. It might be tough to fully embrace this concept, given all the ways your life may have changed.
I suggest you find a tree, or a chair or something where you can take some time to really apply some thought to your situation. Are you stuck trying to get things back to the way they were? Or are you ready to pull up your boots and realize there are still great things to come?
I find it inspiring to note that a familiar verse in the book of Matthew (chapter 7 verse 7) is riddled with ACTION verbs “ASK…SEEK…KNOCK.” It doesn’t say ‘sit around and mope or cry for the past and all your dreams will come true.’ Just because things are different, maybe even VASTLY different, doesn’t mean that you are going backwards. Your journey just took a detour, but it can move forwards–and just take a different path to your desired destination.
I watch you every day, your ups and downs, your endeavor to adapt. It is a difficult thing but You are moving forward. And through all that you challenge me and others to do the same. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I always come away with a new perspective.
Please know this is an impactful read. We are here for you…praying often for complete recovery from LCS.