Nice guys finish last

One day, during a college speech class, we took a simple sentence and changed the emphasis from word-to-word. If the sentence read, “They like working here,” we shifted the emphasized word like this:

THEY like working here… (but the others DON’T)
They LIKE working here… (luckily, they don’t HATE it)
They like WORKING here… (but they wouldn’t come here for any other reason.)
They like working HERE… (much better than: they liked working over THERE…)

How interesting, that even over a span of four words, such subtle changes in emphasis can change meaning altogether! Personally, I feel this why texting and emails are so often gravely misunderstood. If I ever have the choice, I always prefer to talk. I shudder to think how many relationships, jobs, marriages or deals have gone south due to a misinterpreted text.

In that spirit, let’s look at the phrase…

Nice guys finish last.

At first reading, it carries the same old meaning we’ve heard many times in life, with the emphasized word being ‘LAST’. I would like to suggest that being a nice guy is actually more important than what position they finish in.

I’d rather be poor and loved than rich and despised.

Not everyone shares this mindset. I know I wasn’t always there. I chased the almighty dollar as passionately as the next guy. But then I began to realize that achieving this level of “success” at any cost wasn’t worth the long-range sacrifice. What sacrifice?

Friends, for starters.

Family.

A clear conscience.

Inner joy.

I began to understand what the Bible meant about the spiritual risks of being rich. God has blessed a very narrow group of people with the ability to manage wealth and, at the same time, preserve healthy relationships. I imagine such people’s first thoughts every day are not “how can I get more?!” but  “What can I do for someone else today?”

Some psychotherapists say that a “nice guy” is someone agreeable, who dislikes confrontation. I beg to differ! I believe it is completely possible to be “nice” and still be super assertive, successful, even wealthy. Just because a person is ‘nice’ does NOT mean they are weak or feeble. Be a beast with creativity and opportunity, but treat the people around you, helping you, with respect and kindness.

We’ve all heard of someone who had it all, then lost it all. It will be a rough, bumpy downhill journey if, on the back down to the bottom, you pass all those you abused in your struggle to reach the ‘top.’

I would like to challenge everyone (myself included) to see how KIND we can be while still being efficient, productive and successful. The relationships we form with other people last far longer than whatever deal lies ahead. No one says we have to be perfect, but we can at least be considerate of others’ situations–ahead of our own selfish needs.

Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited.
Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves.
Don’t be concerned only about your own interests,
but also be concerned about the interests of others.

                                                                           Philippians 2:3-4