I remember very clearly the first time I had the breath knocked out of me. I was at football practice in high school and I simply landed ‘wrong’ on the ground and suddenly I had no breath. What I DID have was a goofy look on my face and a sudden fear of seemingly imminent death. I was trying to gasp for air, but I couldn’t even gasp. The whole ordeal actually only lasted maybe 2 minutes, but during that time a lot of decisions were made: First, I was going to reconsider joining the chess club. Second, I need to learn how to ‘fall’ better. Even though this was my first time having my breath knocked out of me, I knew exactly what was happening because I had seen it happen to other people as well. But for some reason, that didn’t give me any positive perspectives on the experience. It was flat out terrifying as I lay there heaving to and fro on the grass.
So in a different light – how many times have you suddenly found yourself gasping to get a single “breath” because life hit you hard with some random thing? And despite maybe even even knowing people that have been in your particular circumstance previously, doesn’t seem to help much or even matter. It is really hard to see the “big picture” sometimes when you are just trying to survive the blow. Survival sometimes trumps wisdom and thoughtful consideration. “Let me get through this, then I will be able to think more clearly”. There is no judgement in just trying to refill your lungs, and honestly…sometimes that is a much higher priority than coming up with a plan or thinking of options and opportunities.
It hurts, it sucks, and in the middle of it all, you have no idea if it will ever end. It seems like your peripheral vision just fades away and there is only one small spot in front of you…the most primitive desire of all – survival. Even though it stings at the moment, keep in mind it WILL pass and you can get back to not only a road of recovery but sometimes even improvement. Try to think of positive things, even small accomplishments you might have achieved and try to get in the company of people that will be there to not only care for you but leave positive thoughts in your head. There is little benefit in hanging out with people suffering in similar situations. We all deal with adversity in our own way, and sometimes the only result of being around others similar to you is a further dive into feelings of helplessness and misery.
I had a really good friend who was a three tour veteran in Vietnam, he told me once how much he felt it was a waste of time to go to the VFW and as he described it – “sit around and cry with the other guys…then go home and cry some more”. If either someone else (or you) has some positive contributions that may be helpful to others in dealing with the situation, that would be better than just simply sitting around comparing scars.
When I was taking karate classes, they taught us to breathe out as we took hits, it was not a good idea to tightly hold our breath even if it felt like the natural thing to do. So while you are sitting stunned from your ‘hit’, remember to take deep breaths and realize the past is the past and even though you can’t change it, but you can learn from it and move forward.
Despite how it feels at the moment, you aren’t really alone. While friends and maybe even family seem to scatter when the light comes on, God is right there with you in all your pain and suffering. He knows exactly what you are dealing with and is always available to talk to.
” So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test,
that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
James 1:12