A while back, I took our family to an “Escape Room” game for the first time. Upon arrival, we were divided into two teams and the rules and instructions for playing the game were outlined. (By the way, I strongly suggest that, for the sake of any marriage or serious relationship, you form teams dividing the couples on separate teams. Believe me. I learned the hard way.) The Escape Room host informed us we could ask questions via their intercom system if we were stuck or needed help with a clue. While monitoring our progress from another room, the attendant would give us help on our request.
Without a real expectation that we’d actually finish in less than an hour, we proceeded and promptly got stuck. So we asked for a clue. With the hosts’ vague yet sufficient help, we were able to continue. This ended up happening a few times throughout the hour. With 1:20 seconds left, we entered the code and the final door was unlocked. YAY! We waited in the front reception room for other family members to finish their game. Eventually the others exited, obviously frustrated and rather put out; not having solved the puzzle. Later during dinner, we asked “How many times did you ask for help?” Their answer? NONE! I wondered: is asking for help cheating, as the other team adamantly persisted in telling us? Then I came to this conclusion: cheating is acting dishonestly in attempt to gain an advantage, whereas being astute means being clever or ingenious. In this case…taking advantage of a resource being offered was not only helpful, but also wise. So the other team lost their challenge due to not using available help. What stood in the other team’s way? Perseverance? Stubbornness? Pride?
There are certain times when asking for help is VERY appropriate. But what stands in the way of our doing so? Humility? Arrogance?
If you get stuck in a vulnerable situation, you may want to try on these questions for size in determining whether to ask for HELP is appropriate:
- Is there an important lesson I can learn?
- Will this save me time in the future?
- Will this help me understand the situation better?
- Is this helpful to someone other than just me?
- Is my time better invested in doing something else right now?
Think about this: It’s senseless to be prideful when you’re alone. So you have to ask yourself: am I seeking Approval? Validation? Acceptance? We should be content with doing the best job we can do…achieving goals without the need to make sure everyone knows about it.
Hopefully you have strong, wise and respectable people in your life, so asking them for help shouldn’t be an issue for them, and surely would be a wise step by you!
Don’t capitulate under duress or pain, but if you need help..ask! There is no weakness in asking for help. Inversely, it’s usually a sign of wisdom. As I have said before; “A smart man learns from their OWN mistakes, a wise man learns from the mistakes of OTHERS.”