A close friend is dealing with the really sad situation of her mother struggling with Dementia, Alzheimer’s, and Sun-Downers symptoms. For those who have never dealt with anyone who has these, it is a very frustrating situation. Sundowner’s is highly peculiar and more like science-fiction than biology. Because people react differently to the conditions, sadly there is no “one size fits all” method to helping these people. One evening I was discussing Sun Downers with a pharmacist who mentioned that often when people experience these symptoms, their inhibitions become relaxed. Inhibitions are defined as “conscious or unconscious constraint of a process or behavior, especially of impulses or desires.” In my friend’s case, the result was expressions of anger and vulgar language. The crazy thing is; this person in her former days was the sweetest, kindest, most generous person who walked the Earth. My immediate thought was: “Do we all suppress impulses or desires that contradict the way we normally act or speak?” Despite having a desire to do one thing, are we doing something else entirely?
This led me back to another consideration I have often had. “What is the motivation for doing “the right thing”? What gives us the feeling we need to follow any particular influence? I came up with a short list of what may be the impetus for our actions.
- Social influences to act a certain way
- Fear of consequences if we’re caught
- A deep conviction in our hearts.
I may have mentioned this before, so please indulge me. Many years ago on a remote road, I approached a stop sign. Because there were no cars in sight in any direction, I started thinking about how I actually had the free-will to make a decision to follow the law and come to a complete stop, or just slow down and keep rolling. After all; logically, there was no danger in doing so. But the sign didn’t say “stop if you feel like you need to”–and it surely didn’t say “slow down and make up your own mind”. It simply said STOP. That was the command supported by the law.
Whether we agree with the law or not, doesn’t change its enforcement or our duty to follow it. It would be an interesting day if we decided to just stop paying taxes because we didn’t believe in them or driving 100 MPH because surely, we’re better drivers than anyone else–and those speed limit signs are for the less-skilled drivers.
The law is the law. Rules are rules. So in that moment, I decided, “it starts here.” Sure, I could blow it off and no one would ever know. But inside, I would know. It mattered to me. If I couldn’t be honest with myself on this little trivial action, then how could I be trusted for anything more substantial? So to this day, no matter the time, the pressure, the tardiness or whatever…I have decided I will come to a COMPLETE stop at every stop sign. And as trivial as it may sound, there is a certain feeling of accomplishment every time.
Now according to my list above, I was not doing it because anyone else would even know I had done it. Nor was I worried that a cop would be waiting behind a bush in the middle of nowhere. It had become the third motivation: Heart-felt conviction.
Let me be clear: we make MANY decisions every day. Just because I have made some for my life doesn’t mean everyone else should conform to my logic or convictions.
Therefore, I do not judge other people who may not have had the same experiences. No one is less than me or behind me; we’re all simply in different stages of life. There is a list of things I still need to work on that others have already dealt with. It’s not about judgement or maturity–it’s a very personal thing each of us goes through.
Based on these revelations, I have been asking myself lately: what is my motivation for making right choices? Is it to conform? Fear of getting caught? Or is it something deep in my heart? The reality is that no matter which factor influences us to do what’s right, it is a good thing! Eventually, I think we move from knowing it, to understanding it, to believing it. Ultimately, what’s in our hearts matters most. That seed will influence just about every area of our lives.Many of the ‘right or wrong’ decisions we make have nothing to do with law or social acceptance. Many are simply driven by our conscience: thoughts and decisions we have or make that no one else knows about–and never will.
This is what makes you…you.
Going through the actions may serve a purpose to a certain degree, but Jesus sure had something to say about people who prayed to be heard praying, or gave money to be seen as generous. Those who did things only because they were ‘supposed to’…as opposed to those who gave in secrecy, prayed in quiet secluded spaces, and helped others without seeking praise for their actions. God surely doesn’t need my money, but He does want my heart. He wants me to WANT to do the things He asks us to do. And that’s when it becomes a deep conviction in our hearts.