Happy gators and whining birds

Over a period of time–mostly as a result of walking through some tough times–I’ve formed a short list of priorities around which I try to build every new day.

1. Be Grateful–for something every day.
2. Be Kind–do something awesome for someone else.
3. Be Humble–find a mentor/be a mentor.
4. Be Honest–do what you say you’re going to do.

It’s not much, but I know that in my life, following these simple traits has made my problems seem smaller, increased my joy and expanded my patience.

Now let me be perfectly clear: I am a mere human, and I am flawed. I can’t be perfect, and it’s senseless to think I should be. But a key coping skill I’ve discovered, when I get so caught up in myself, is that the one thing, the ONLY thing that seems to pull me out of a tailspin is putting other people and their needs ahead of mine. Just like it says in Ecclesiastes: there is a time for everything. Sometimes we SAY things, and other times we need to “shut up and DO-up.”

Are we really people of our word? Or do we just project an image for others to judge us by? What use are the facades we wear and the hollow words we speak if we aren’t the person they describe?

Sadly, there are a lot of hurting people out there, especially in this day and time. Careers, jobs, finances, relationships, health–there are PLENTY of mountains tall enough and cruel enough to bury people alive. Many times, these people are not holding up signs saying “HELP ME.” Maybe they’re waiting for a break–a sign–or a change.

It isn’t always easy to know what’s going on with a person if you merely look at them from the outside. Take birds for example. It’s so easy to see them sitting on power lines, in trees and on fences, singing their beautiful songs, and just assume they’re in perfect bliss. But how do you know!? Would it sound any different if they were signing, “Wow, today sucks, I need more worms and my mate flew off with another bird”? Of course not. And what about those grotesque and scary alligators? Those huge teeth, sneaky moves and never-blinking eyes? How do they look when they have a happy day? How would you know the difference? if you only look from the outside….odds are you’re missing something. (DISCLAIMER: I am not saying to snuggle up to an alligator and try to have a meaningful conversation.)

My point is: It’s tough to know what’s going through someone’s mind if you simply tell yourself “They look like everything’s fine” and go on with your day. Make time to do something that will help someone else. And don’t do it followed up by any kind of, “gee, look what I did.” I’ve seen YouTube videos where guys do these cool things for people, but then stick around to be sure the benefactors know they were the ones who performed the kind act.

Hmmm – is that really kind and humble? I think not.

And what if the hurting one is YOU? Are you waiting for a clear sign? Are you waiting for a response? Are you in a holding pattern until something signals it’s time to move forward? WHY!? My other very deep and profound phrase is: “DO SOMETHING!” Don’t just sit around, and don’t leave the ball in anyone else’s court. Take matters into your own hands. And if you don’t know what move to make, then that’s a perfect time to do something for someone else. Volunteer at a food bank. Cut someone’s lawn. Take a handicapped person to the store.

I once discovered a guy near where I lived who had done some very cool things with his business and would have surely been a great mentor for me. But guess what? I contacted him…twice… and he was either too busy or disinterested in helping me. He blew me off. So what? Was I going to crawl up in a fetus position and belly-ache? What good would that do? I had to look harder and find someone better suited to be my mentor. (I finally found one, by the way, and he is awesome!)

Recognize that you’ll likely face just as many hard days as anyone else. In the end, all we have is each other. So take advantage of your chances to know other people deeper–and hold them to a higher level than you do your own problems.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

                                                                                       Philippians 2:3-4