If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you may remember me mentioning how pretty much EVERYONE thinks they’re a good driver. Which might lead you to ask, “Then who was the idiot who cut me off yesterday?!” or “Did they get their license from Sears or what?”
Back in the old days, every person applying for a license was required to finish a driver’s education class with a set number of minimum hours and skills. Now, like many other, mostly ignored privileges, you can simply fill out forms (in-person or online) and hit APPLY. BAM! Congratulations…you are now a licensed motorist! The ease of today’s “certification” strips the word of all meaning or legitimacy. A driver may hop on the road and be constantly surrounded by what they perceive as ‘less-than-competent’ drivers based on their OWN scale. Not until a third party injects a completely non-biased opinion will anyone know what driving skills (if any) good ol’ Johnny actually has. Point being: Johnny doesn’t perceive himself as a threat or incompetent driver.
This is true in several other circumstances. A great ‘enemy’ of yours may not lose a moment of sleep or give a second thought to their actions because they simply don’t share your perspective––or opinion. So the question becomes: how do you treat a person whose thoughts are polar opposite from yours? Whether it be religion, politics (yikes), economy, environment or just basic driving laws, it’s silly to abandon a relationship simply because the other person doesn’t share your convictions. Is it okay to ‘agree to disagree’ anymore? Today, it seems more and more people get mad, upset, hurt, even violent at someone just for having a different opinion from their own. Sometimes we fall in to a mindset of ‘we need to fix this person’s terrible opinion’ rather than understanding that they are an individual with their own thoughts and opinions––that it’s okay for them to have different ideas from us. Even if the other party becomes irate, it does no good to destroy a relationship over differences. If every difference between people–not only polar opposites but the full gamut of differing perspectives–resulted in broken relationships, what a divided world we would end up with!
This brings me to another point. 
As hard as this pill may be to swallow…we need to understand that perceptions are indeed reality. Sure, maybe someone has a different perception of you than you know to be true…but what’s the point of you agreeing with yourself? I am certainly not suggesting that you live your life trying to make everyone happy all the time, or changing who you are to meet their standards. But the point is: you really ought to consider whatever perception others (exterior) may have of you (interior). Then stay true to who you are and usually in time, the ‘real you’ will come out. Then people have a chance to edit their perceptions.
At one point in my life, I had a huge disagreement with a family member: a big blowout after which I went home and STEWED for days, if not weeks. Then I talked to someone who had seen the family member the day before and mentioned how happy and content they seemed. “WHAT!? Did they forget what a horrible person they were?” Then it hit me…they weren’t losing a single wink over our spat––but it was eating me up on the inside! I had to let it go.
Realize that others do not see themselves as the ‘enemy’…that stress and anger aren’t worth the damage that they can do to your body. It’s like I used to tell my son: “Don’t lie. But if you do, make sure it is something like ‘no I didn’t rob the bank.’ Don’t lose your integrity over something ridiculous. (I am just kidding about the bank…) When something is truly eating you inside, be sure to ask yourself, “Is this REALLY worth the trouble it’s causing me?”
Having differences is not only okay, but expected in just about ANY relationship. Be open-minded enough to accept someone–even if you don’t agree with their opinion or position.