Several years ago, I was sitting with a small number of people and one of the girls was bemoaning the utterly miserable state of her life, and how she couldn’t “face tomorrow” with the unbelievable emotional pain she was enduring. After what felt like hours of revealing and tearful outbursts, she told us the actual cause of her unendurable agony: She had broken up with a boyfriend. Just then, my first reaction was shock and almost anger. I was going through something I felt was a thousand times more gut-wrenching than some trivial breakup! How could she waste our time and make such a huge deal about such a trivial issue?
But was it?
In that moment, I realized something. Her pain (for whatever reason) was JUST AS REAL to her, as the pain I was experiencing. Even though I knew that on a literal level, my circumstances were far more serious than the state of her relationship with a boyfriend, I also looked at myself through a similar lens. Someone could just as easily look at MY circumstances and see them as frivolous and trivial by comparison.
Despite whatever problems we may be experiencing, there is always someone, somewhere, who has it worse than us. It only took me a few seconds to begin to imagine what other situations could be MUCH worse than what I was going through.
Bottom line? Everyone experiences pain and hurt, and despite the actual circumstances, the hurt and pain is JUST as real to them as someone in a different situation. Ultimately, what happens to you starts out as simply a “situation”–but your response to that determines if it is now going to escalate into a “problem.” If you can change your perception of the situation, then regardless of its factual reality, you can begin to get through it. See it as a lesson and learn from it what you can. By themselves, problems have no positive benefit whatsoever, but changing them into learning situations turns them into opportunities!
There is always a natural tendency to fear what we don’t know. Sometimes we experience fear in ways we never expected, or from sources we never notice. The common thread here is the reality of pain. Try not to be overly concerned with the justification of someone’s pain or situation, but rather what you can do to help them through it. Sometimes all people need is a sympathetic ear to help them deal with their issues. We don’t have to relate to their issues per se, but we can ALL relate to pain and how it affects us, distracts us and can even derail us. The quicker you get past issues as problems, the quicker you can get on to the next level. When you remain in the “problem” state, you are in essence giving that situation power over you and your ability to move on. Shake it off, talk with someone, journal, whatever helps you, but whatever you do..do something! And don’t look back.
Philippians 4:6
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Great words! Get your mind off of the situation and focus on being thankful for what you’ve been given. Not what you DESERVE or what you feel you have EARNED, but what you have been gifted. Whatever you meditate on, either the good or the bad, will become even greater.
One day while I was working as a Video Editor, I was in my edit bay and something had really put me in a bad way. I don’t remember what it was, but I remember being HIGHLY agitated and low on patience. I had a producer come in for his session with me. He knew I was having a bad day, and I’m sure I wasn’t hiding much about my circumstances. So he came in, handed me the tapes we needed, and I did something I never knew would have a lasting impact on my life. I started being WAY OVER THE TOP nice to the producer. If he handed me a tape, I said “Gee, thanks so much” – I was completely masking my true emotions, mind you. I reacted to everything that happened with a kind of positive sarcasm that really began to concern him; he didn’t know if I was serious or if I was about to snap and go postal––so he walked on egg shells. But the curious thing was: I could start to sense a change in me and how I felt. Seriously! After doing this for about an hour, I was starting to smile and laugh. Whatever was ruining my day disappeared. By the time we finished our session, I was a different person! I wasn’t just stuffing the emotions down inside, but I had (unintentionally) changed the negativity to happiness. Let me tell you, I ended up enjoying that day as opposed to losing it to a grotesque, slimy negative emotion.
I have learned several times in my life that walking away from “bad stuff” often leads to good stuff. As an old hymn goes; “Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.” Sometimes the real challenge is the latter part of that line: LEAVING it there. Our human nature says “you can do better…no one knows you like YOU…” Not so. If we surrender our situations, our concerns our lives to God, He is ready and willing to help us through anything we may face.
Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest…for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Now I’d like to say I was wise, and obedient in my decision to give things to the Lord. But the truth is…Usually I either gave up or had no clue what to do. But being the faithful Father he is, He took control and helped me in ways I wasn’t sure could even be possible. Funny how God has a better perspective of me, than me. Of course, you don’t have to believe ME…I’m just a retired bounty hunter from Plano Texas. But I am telling you – try it!
Change your attitude, hand over your worries and watch what happens!