At all costs? Really?

Sometimes, you come across a situation that you feel you might have been training or preparing for your entire life. Like every smaller incident previously has just been setting you up for this..the bigger thing. Tithing, ethics, kindness, generosity…we have many opportunities in our day-to-day lives to express or stretch ourselves to follow whatever path we feel is the “right” one. But what about when something huge happens…one of those “put your money where your mouth is” kind of moments. Sure it is easier to tithe when you only get a dollar for allowance. Or be ethical when it has no affect on your financial situation. But what about when doing the “right thing” could end up costing you thousands of dollars? Or if you have a business it might mean you lose your biggest client? I have stood my ground a few time in the past, lost clients, lost money, lost relationships in the interest of KNOWING I was in the right. There is surely a difference between doing something because “I” feel it is the right thing to do, and then there is a bigger ethical, and sometimes moral, decisions we face. Do you still hold to your guns if you know by doing so you are about to affect virtually every aspect of your livelihood? At what point do you capitulate to the demands of someone when you know it will have significant immediate impact on you?

It’s a very tough spot to be in for sure. Uncomfortable, frustrating, confusing maybe even embarrassing. But at some point, the decision has to be made. You may feel like saying “well this is different” or some other means of justifying that it is okay to act differently. Obviously, the best course of action is to have a strong line of communication with the other party and try to resolve things. But what if all means of reason have failed and it is simply your call to either do it…or not. Is it worth it? Will it really matter in the long run? Easy justifications. If you are asking these questions in the first place, then you already KNOW what the right thing to do is. But sometimes, the more we think about it and the more we realize what’s at stake, we find more reason to give in. What about that second when you are faced with the dilemma? The second someone demands you do something or an opportunity presents itself..and IMMEDIATELY you know it is not inline with what you have been practicing on a much smaller scale for years? You already know the answer. Despite the pressure or lack of reason by someone else, you KNOW.

There’s nothing fun or comfortable being in this spot. And sometimes, it could quite possibly be the difference you look back on for many years to come. Some may argue that doing the “right thing” now, will reward you later in bigger ways. Or maybe that by handling this situation the right way will serve as an example to others about how you operate. But I would like to present you with this: Do the right thing, because it is the right thing to do. Period. With no considerations of your reward or punishment. It is simply the right thing. Maybe someone else doesn’t understand, and you could always use that as an opportunity to share with someone your convictions, but don’t base your decisions on what other people THINK…or what you think they may think…there’s simply too much at stake: your character, your integrity. These are priceless and one of the very few things in life that YOU actually have control over. Despite whatever pressures there may be, ultimately you are the deciding voice. Courage – Discipline – Vision – Endurance – Love. These character qualities are quickly becoming endangered.

In Bill Hybel’s book “Who you are when no one’s looking” he says “Character is not what we have done, but rather who we are.” Our decisions on how to respond to ethical dilemmas are not just single responses but, over time, they collectively form who we are at our core.

Our breaking point, or our quitting point is likely something we will face several times in our lives. How we handle or survive each of these situations, sets us up to be able to better know how to act when the next much bigger one comes along.